The teenager ripped my face off yesterday. Nearly a week into quarantine, and she’s ready to slay dragons — and, of course, not exactly how I’d approach it.
Don’t get me wrong, lockdown — in a small, Vancouver apartment — with four cranky, scared, and bored people is, well, limiting.
However, when I say things to her like, “There are, legitimately, hundreds of books for you to choose in this house. Pick one and read it,” I can confirm it results in outbursts that provoke the horror of a teenager not being on her phone (God, no!), muttered irritation, and avoiding all contact with said teenager for at least an hour. All to keep from experiencing the Wrath of Khan.
I get it, I’m not all that funny. (At least not to my teen.) So, I’ll stop trying to be. Here’s my point . . .
My big kid is an extrovert. With a capital E and plenty of exclamation points. Her life revolves around social activities and a tight group of friends.
Me, well, I’m the opposite. My social activities tend to involve world building and crying over character loss in other universes. Sure, I love spending time with friends and other pre-pandemic activities like browsing musty, old bookstores and dim sum. But I’m good with staying home about 90 percent of the time.
This lockdown is challenging her beyond comprehension.
We’ve all seen the jokes and memes about introverts preparing for moments like this — rising as superior self-isolators. And, yes, we are superstars at it. I’ve worked from home for most of the last 14 years. What I’m about to share qualifies as Ph.D.-level introvert advice to those who really like interacting with others.
An introvert’s guide to (pandemic) self-isolation
1. It’s okay to find yourself batshit crazy one day, and in need of human contact the next. Even extreme amounts. Even introverts need time the world. GASP! We see you and get your pain.
But we do it through: SKYPE, Zoom, Discord, FaceTime, etc. Yeah, that’s right, we don’t actually go see people. We clip our hair back, wash our face, put on a socially acceptable shirt, and jump on a call to talk (and connect) about whatever.
Maggie Tai Tucker did a virtual waffle-off with a friend. Matthew Ramadan and Danny Ramadan did a video on making self-isolation margaritas. And my sweet friend Lee Ann Mordecai Steyns hosts FB Live sign-language classes for kids.
Me? Well, I hook up with my writing partner every week to share pages, talk about our novels, and motivate each other to keep telling stories.
2. DON’T sit on the couch, or at your desk, the whole time.
Oh mah ghad, people. If there’s one thing introverts know, it’s that your body will ache and cry for you to get off the couch — at about hour 24. (That’s a lot of hours, but I’m making poor attempts at humor again.) Watching every episode of The Man In The High Castle, Witcher, Outlander, The Walking Dead, and Westworld, makes you want to make better choices when your ass kills and your back stages a full revolt.
Introverts know this because, well, we regularly repeat regretful mistakes like this one. Then we have spend every day doing yoga — at a studio! — to repair the damage. EVERY DAY. That’s a lot of human contact for an introvert.
I strongly recommend YouTube. It has exercise videos, dance videos, music videos, and so much more. Introverts use it all the time (but no one knows because we’re at home). Maybe just take a break and move your body after every third video.
3. Beware of the snacking monster.
One of the strange, unexplainable consequences of boredom is that we get food crazy. When people used to moving a lot get into quiet spaces, snacking comes into play.
Not all introverts are snacking experts. However, I can attest to many a day where I’ve not left my desk other than to gather the pretzels or the cheese or to mix drinks. Oh the list goes on . . . .
Sadly, you won’t see necessarily the impact until you peel off those pajamas you’ve been wearing for far too long, and try putting on a pair of your favourite jeans!
So, consider what you eat. Maybe throw in some healthy choices to balance the scale. Also consider this: if you eat all of your snacks now, when will you get more?! It’s not fun in the grocery store, making your way through all the toilet paper-hoarders trying not to touch a thing as you head straight for the snack isle.
Whatever you do. No judgement.
4. Don’t be aimless.
Aimless introverting has resulted in many a solitary human not dealing with life well. We all need goals. If your aim is to watch as much TV as you can for the next few weeks, that’s excellent. Set the goal and give it your best go.
There’s a lot of talk out there about exploring the quiet, letting yourself be bored, and giving yourself a chance to slow down.
I’m all for it. But, five days of letting myself freeform through life turns has the potential for me to slip into major depression. Once you’re in midst of a psychiatric episode, it’s much harder to cope with everyday life, much less a pandemic.
Know yourself well enough to know what you need to keep upright.
I follow this strict routine:
1. GET DRESSED. I don’t linger in my pajamas. It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. This comes from years of working at home and finding that a morning routine helps me focus and center myself. I find fresh clothes and feeling like a put-together human soothing.
2. MAKE LISTS. Even if the list involves basic chores, I write them down and check them off. That way I can see I accomplished something, even if it was just laundry.
3. MAKE YOUR BED. This is a big one for me. I make it every day. Sometimes it’s the only thing I get done around the house, but it’s a psychological trick that works for me.
4. DRINK WATER. This sounds like every other post, but, I swear, it matters more than you can imagine. If I didn’t alternate coffee with water, I’d be out slaying more than dragons!
5. OPEN THE CURTAINS. We’re not cave-bound. Let the light in. You need it right now.
Okay, extroverts go rise. We introverts have your back.